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I was in a job interview today when the manager handed me his laptop and said, “I want you to try and sell this to me.”

So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building and went home.

Eventually he called my mobile and said, “Bring it back here right now!”

I said, “$200 and it’s yours.”

What award did the creator of the knock-knock jokes win?
Laat het antwoord zien

Things not to say after sex:
– You are better than your sister.
– When do I put the condom on?
– There’s money on the counter.
– Alright who’s gonna help me rebury this?
– Do you have aids ? I don’t want to get it again.
– Yeah, definitely gay.
– It was better when you were sleeping.
– Please like and subscribe.
– Well that ejaculated quickly.
– New record, 17 seconds!
– I was born as male.
– Did your mom teach you that? You guys fuck so similar.

A man and his wife are walking down the street when the wife turns to her husband and says “honey, I think it’s snowing” the man looks back at her and says “no it’s raining.” To settle the debate between the two they ask the friendly redcoat standing at the end of the street. The redcoat, Rudolph tells them that it is in fact raining. The husband turns to his wife and says “see, Rudolph the red knows rain dear.”

After handing over a $10 note for an item that cost $7, an autistic ran away empty handed.
Turns out they couldn’t handle the change!

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? I heard the food was good but it had no atmosphere..

What’s the difference between a Dutchman and a coconut?
You can get a drink out of a coconut!

I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

A crazy wife says to her husband that moose are falling from the sky. The husband says, it’s reindeer.

“If Adam and Eve can’t make it work in Paradise, how am I going to make it work in Lewisham?” – Sara Pascoe

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